If we ask you what places you’d like to go before you die, we presume you’d come with a list with at least five different places, and Rio could be one of these. Besides some wonderful places, Olympic Games are going to be here, so why not coming? But don’t your heart talks to you and says ‘be careful while choosing places to visit in Rio, dear’? Or maybe it simply says ‘do not go to Rio, stupid’. This article was made to try to convince your heart that you can come here almost relaxed and to convince your mind that your heart can be almost totally right.
The first place we advise you not to go is Bangu. Carioca people feel extremely hot when being there in summer, so imagine you being there even in winter! Actually, there’s no ‘winter’ in this place.
Where Bangu is truly located
*’Sol’ = Sun in English; ‘Terra’ = Earth in English
Baixada Fluminense is the second place you can’t consider going. It’s a place consisted of thirteen counties, in which each one has its peculiarity, like São João de Meriti, where there are more potholes than roads, Nilópolis, which is almost as hot as Bangu, Magé and Seropédica, which are furthest than Narnia, and Duque de Caxias, where this article was written.
A ‘happy’ family having a picnic somewhere in Baixada Fluminense.
P.S. even us, who speak Portuguese, couldn’t understand what is written.
Places which the name starts with ‘Garden’ (‘Jardim’ in Portuguese) or ‘Park’ (‘Parque’ in Portuguese), like Jardim Gramacho, Parque das Missões, Jardim Primavera etc., must not be in your mind. The least worst things they can provide you are gardens or parks, seriously.
We know that one of the reasons for you to come to Rio is Carnival. Well, Central do Brasil is like Carnival, but in an opposite way. For example: on Carnival, you may find crowds of people walking around the same place, dancing, jumping, having fun and melting a lot, but they’re happy with it. In Central you may also find crowds of people walking around it and melting a lot, but because they need to run fast to catch the subway or to arrive on time at their works. Besides that, in Central you can also find people dancing, singing and jumping, but they’re not having fun, they’re just crazy. Places smelling urine can be found both on Carnival and in Central do Brasil. For these reasons and others, this is the fourth place where you might not consider going.
Central do Brasil almost empty – so imagine it almost full…
The fifth and worst place where you must never consider going is ALERJ (Legislative Assembly of Rio de Janeiro). We presume that, since you’re coming to Rio to enjoy wonderful places and have fun with the Carioca, you don’t want to meet corruptive people, who think that the society is brainless, commit money laundering, practice nepotism and many others totally wrong attitudes. ALERJ is the easiest place in Rio where you can find this kind of people, so please, do not lose your time going there, and if you go there, go only with the purpose of protesting against them.
ALERJ full of politicians. Yes, this is considered full, even though we can see many empty places.
As you already know now the places where you’re supposed not to set foot in Rio, we hope we have convinced your heart that you can come to know the remarkable places that can only be found here in the wonderful state of Rio de Janeiro.
Gabriel Alves